Is Nicolas Cage The Greatest Actor of Our Time?

With a title like this you’d think I’m joking, but I’m actually not. Everyone gives Nicolas Cage some shit, but I am not quite sure I know why.

I just watched the movie Outcast on Netflix, and I really don’t know what to say other than wow, what a movie. It perfectly met every single one of my expectations, and did not exceed them in any way whatsoever. But this is the movie’s strength: It did not fall short of any expectation I had for it.

This movie was billed as “the only thing you’ve seen Hayden Christensen in since Star Wars, and also Nic Cage.” (seriously, where has H.C. been?) So really I didn’t have the highest expectations.

The opening credits start and its Chinese production companies right from the get-go. Being a jingoistic and imperialistic damn American, I was immediately skeptical of Chinese movie production, but I realized that China is pretty much the best place to make a movie because they have unlimited male extras a vast landscape with which to film.

So anyway, the story hooks you right away and keeps you watching throughout the film. You develop feels for a lot of the characters, and – while you never get to watch them develop – you get to see the people they become. Its odd at first, to think that you never see them grow or change in any meaningful way, but when you realize the movie is sort of a before & after shot of their lives, it makes a bit more sense.

In truth, if you’re looking for character development, amazing direction, award winning acting, and poetic writing, you are definitely watching the wrong movie. If, on the other hand, you want to watch a dude get straight nailed to a wall with a spear through his eye (!!) then this movie is for you.

This movie is incredibly fun to watch as long as you know how to watch it. You see, there is a secret to watching these types of movies – the types of movies that draw Nicolas Cage to them.

You have to be at least 3 beers in before you hit play.

Seriously. Just get a little buzz going, pop in this movie, shut off your brain, and come back here and tell me that you didn’t have a pretty good time. And really, that’s pretty much every Nicolas Cage movie, isn’t it? There’s nothing else on, so you might as well get drunk and watch this second rate action movie that somehow managed to snag Jessica Biel.

And before you start telling me that Nicolas Cage has been in a shit load of really terrible movies, to which we will all readily agree, let’s take a moment and appreciate the pretty awesome career he’s built up over the past 30 years. Has Nicolas cage put out a bad movie every now and again? Absolutely. But he’s also been in at least one movie every single year since 1981!

He has put out more movies than years I have been alive.

And quite a lot of them have been pretty freaking awesome, for example:

  1. Fast Times at Ridgemont High
  2. Guarding Tess
  3. Leaving Las Vegas
  4. Con Air
  5. Face/Off
  6. Gone In 60 Seconds
  7. The Family Man
  8. National Treasure
  9. The Wicker Man (I don’t give a shit, fuck you guys, the remake was amazing.)
  10. National Treasure: Book of Secrets
  11. Knowing
  12. Kick-ass
  13. Season of The Witch
  14. Next
  15. Bangkok Dangerous
  16. Drive Angry
  17. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
  18. Outcast (duh)
  19. Joe

That’s a lot of really just good movies for a guy that so many people hate on all the time! And let’s face it: His action movies have zero plot, shit direction, and he’s usually the only half way decent actor in them – but that isn’t why you watch them!

You watch them because of scenes like this:

Or even for scenes like this:

The truth is: You don’t watch Nicolas Cage movies because you want to be astounded by his acting, or because you want to be spiritually moved by the way he conveys the story. You watch Nicolas Cage movies because you’re too drunk to go anywhere and they’re the only thing FX can get the license to show.

You watch Nicolas Cage movies because they’re adequately entertaining, and he is a perfectly fine performer. And you know what? I respect that.

Is Nicolas Cage the greatest actor of our time? Absolutely not. There is no way in hell. But he’s okay, I guess, and nothing else is on, so why not?

Click here to watch an accurately priced Nicolas Cage movie

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